I get set apart tomorrow! Meaning, my call becomes "more official" and I am that much closer to reaching Peru and its people. I can't wait.
I've said my goodbyes to long, restful bubble baths (poor bath had a difficult time dealing with my departure, so I took my time breaking it to him), high heeled shoes (the heels got teary-eyed, my feet couldn't help but smile a little), and my beloved books (their confidence in our deep, true love made them more alright with it). And while those goodbyes were somewhat difficult, the ones still to come are even more challenging.
I don't know how I will react when I see my family's faces for the last time in a long while. Will I cry? Oh my, I hope I don't bawl... And what about after they leave and I'm shown to my quarters? Will I be excited, emotional, or stoic? No matter what, I know that I will feel a small seed of joy start to sprout. This is where I am heading. This is where I want to be. I am on my way to incredible experiences.
I think what I need to remember is that I affect my experiences. I need to be humble. I need to be open. I need to give it everything I have and give even more. Every day I will invest 110% of me.
Here is a map of my mission! From 2011-2012 I will be somewhere among that light gray shading. It'll be amazing to capture vibrant images of lands and people to replace the gray in my mind!
Here it is, for anyone who would like to read it. I always write out all my talks and sometimes give myself notes along the way to remind me of things to say or remember. The writer in me enjoys writing a nice essay, I suppose. The "live" version can go off course, vary in detail, and (hopefully) doesn't really sound read. Enjoy. =)
I walked along the sea shore
And knelt to feel the sand.
I grazed it with my fingers
And cupped it in my hands.
I admired the many pieces
Of granulated earth;
The rays of light exposed them,
To glisten as if with mirth.
I slowly let them slip away-
Those many bits of grain
And as they flowed from hand to home
Bits blended and appeared the same.
I contemplated my own fate-
I am but one grain of sand.
Will anybody notice me,
When I am in their hand?
It is beautiful to know the truth that our Father in Heaven loves us and knows us each individually. He created us. He taught us and teaches us still. He has given us the opportunity to grow, to become like Him, to return to Him. Though we may be one amongst many, we never go unnoticed.
This concept is true in many aspects of our lives, but today I would like to focus on how it relates to missionary work. The Lord’s work and glory is to “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” This is not only a demonstration of God’s love for us, but it is also a demonstration of the divinity of such work.
Though every young man is commanded to serve as a missionary for the Lord, it should not be forgotten that every single call is inspired. In Elder Ronald A. Rasband’s talk, “The Divine Call of a Missionary”, he testifies of the “divine design” that is specific to each individual-be it an Elder, sister, senior couple, etc. Elder Rasband states that “missionary work is the lifeblood of the Church and the lifesaving blessing to all who accept its message.” This is the Lord’s work. He does not take it lightly, and neither should we. It is a blessing to be able to serve Him and to have, as President Monson has said, “the privilege to be not spectators but participants on the stage . . . ”.
The process by which a missionary receives a call is divine. Prayer, humility, and a sincere desire to know where each individual should go guides the assigned member of the Quorum of the Twelve. President Monson has said, “wherever you are called will be right for you, and you will learn to love your mission.” I know that, since the Lord knows our strengths and our weaknesses, He knows where to place us. I know that through every missionary, the Holy Ghost can reach the hearts of a variety of people and share blessed truths. Our prophet, seer, and revelator has also told us that, “There are feet to steady, hands to grasp, minds to encourage, hearts to inspire, and souls to save. The harvest truly is great. Let there be no mistake about it; the missionary opportunity of a lifetime is [ours]. The blessings of eternity await [us].”
In Alma 26:28-30 it reads:
28And now behold, we have come, and been forth amongst them; and we have been patient in our sufferings, and we have suffered every privation; yea, we have traveled from house to house, relying upon the mercies of the world—not upon the mercies of the world alone but upon the mercies of God.
29And we have entered into their houses and taught them, and we have taught them in their streets; yea, and we have taught them upon their hills; and we have also entered into their temples and their asynagogues and taught them; and we have been cast out, and mocked, and spit upon, and smote upon our cheeks; and we have been bstoned, and taken and bound with cstrong cords, and cast into prison; and through the power and wisdom of God we have been delivered again.
30And we have suffered all manner of afflictions, and all this, that perhaps we might be the means of saving some soul; and we supposed that our ajoy would be full if perhaps we could be the means of saving some.
Ammon and his brothers recognized the divinity of their call and mission. They faced all manner of adversity and persecution but still they continued to share the gospel in the hopes of “saving some soul”. Because the worth of souls is great and, because of the divinity of a call, there will be adversity in various shapes and forms. At times, it may reach unbearable points. However, the Lord has promised us in Isaiah 40:31:
31But they that await upon the Lord shall brenew their cstrength; they shall mount up with wings as deagles; they shall erun, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
He is on our side. He will succor us and help us as we fulfill His work. In D&C 84:88 we gain further reaffirmation of this when the Lord says:
“And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.”
The Lord prepares those He calls, so long as we are willing and have a desire to serve Him. I know that there are many things that can be done to move the Lord’s work forward. I am grateful that I will be able to devote a small fraction of my life to dedicate myself to striving to bring about the immortality and eternal life of man.
I’ve considered the words of President Uchtdorf when he said, “Heavenly Father is able to accomplish these two great goals—the immortality and eternal life of man—because He is a God of creation and compassion . . . Creating and being compassionate are two activities that we as His spirit children can and should emulate.”
While President Uchtdorf counseled that creating and being compassionate lead us to experience a greater level of personal happiness, it is just as powerful as a tool to press forward in His work.
There are many different levels of creation: creating relationships, constructing messages with purpose, gathering good words from different sources to deliver comfort or counsel. The possibilities of creation to serve others are limitless. Having compassion opens our hearts to those around us and softens their hearts towards us. President Uchtdorf noted that “When we reach out to bless the lives of others, our lives are blessed as well. Service and sacrifice open the windows of heaven, allowing choice blessings to descend upon us.” President Spencer W. Kimball taught, “The more we serve our fellowmen in appropriate ways, the more substance there is to our souls.”
I know that we can all contribute to the work. We can all apply these concepts to our lives now. President Uchtdorf has said “Every [member] in the Church is of critical importance—not only to our Heavenly Father but also to the building of the kingdom of God as well. There is a great work to do.” I also believe that as we serve our fellowmen more and strive to invite them to come unto Christ, we will further gain a testimony of the divinity of the work. For such an immense and crucial purpose, how could the calls of missionaries, the Lord’s assigned messengers, not be divine?
Testimony
Going through the temple was absolutely wonderful. It was different but not in a bad way. In fact, it made sense to me. I am grateful that I have been able to go a few times since and am planning on going more before leaving. (Yes, I will "cram" in as many temple visits as I can in 4 days!) It is a wonderful blessing and refuge that the Lord has provided for us. I love the peace and resulting joy that I feel.
It was also wonderful to have so many people from my home ward there including Bishop Marriotti and his wife. Here are some images from my first time!
So... on the surface, this may not seem like a missionary topic but, for me, it has been. Being able to serve my recovering Mami has been an incredible blessing. It has helped me gain patience, humility, and a greater desire to serve to the best of my abilities. It helped me realize the importance of dedicating all my energies to serve effectively. Mami is doing well! It was rough for her at first and she is still experiencing some pain but she is determined to regain full mobility of her arm. Here are some images from before and after her surgery. I love her =).
Well. I was supposed to be out in the mission field by November 17th. However, I decided to postpone for a transfer (6 weeks) so that I could take care of my mom. She had shoulder surgery to repair her torn rotator cuff, remove bone spurs, and remove calcium deposits as well. I'm very glad that I got to stay and take care of her! It has been a blessing to spend more time with my family. Plus! Now my dad is here (from El Salvador) and will be able to join the rest of us to drop me off at the MTC on January 5th. Only 4 days to go!! 4 days!? That's incredible. I will be updating the blog with a few things: temple experience, farewell talk, last few days reflections, etc. Hooray!!
So...it's almost time to leave on the mission! I really can't believe it. For some reason I thought I had so much time before I would be leaving. It's exciting, it's unnerving, it's thrilling, it's humbling.
That's probably the main thing I'm feeling right now- humility... with a slight twist of inadequacy. I have been thinking a lot about how missionary work is truly important. I want to help the people in Peru. I want to listen to their needs and respond accordingly. I want to be a good instrument in the Lord's hands.
All of that is possible! I just have to remember that it's not my power or strength that will make a difference, it is the Lord's. I know that through the Holy Ghost's power people can be reached.
I can't wait. I have all these different emotions about it but when the situation gets boiled down, I am so excited to be where I know the Lord wants me and where I want "me".
November 17th, 2010 will be quite the day.